Scotch Tape scotch, Rosetta Stone for stoners and more April Fools’ brand gags

Monday is April Fools’, and as always, brands are getting in on the fun, promoting products that will — hopefully — never see the light of day.

That said, with pot smoke everywhere these days, Rosetta Stoned — a stoner-to-sober person translator — might actually come in handy on April 2 and beyond. However, the fictional product actually seeks to translate cannabis store lingo to the puffing neophyte.

Elsewhere online, there’s scotch from the Scotch brand, the folks who make tape and other adhesive products, and 7-Eleven’s threat of the Big Bite Sparkling Water, which “combines the delicious and mouthwatering experience of 7-Eleven’s iconic Big Bite Hot Dog into one refreshing beverage – ketchup and mustard included.”

Speaking of hot dogs, no, Jet Blue flight attendants won’t really be pushing Nathan’s hot dog carts down their planes’ aisles when they push off from the gate.

And while it might be useful, Tinder isn’t looking to hire a ghosting buster to track down those promising swipes who went radio silent.

Famously rebranded Dunkin’ won’t actually be changing its name “again” to “just Donuts,” but it isn’t beyond teasing merch of the new fake name.

Also, lifestyle brand Funboy’s inflatable bikini may look decent on its Instagram model, but the pink, puffy getup itself is up for debate.

And if you’re hoping language app Duolingo’s “four-hour shocking spectacle” Duolingo On Ice is real, well, sorry to tell you…April Fools’!