After Ben Affleck split, Jennifer Lopez realizes, “I can’t be looking for happiness in other people”

After splitting with Ben Affleck, Jennifer Lopez says that for the first time in her life she’s happy being alone.

Speaking to comedian Nikki Glaser for Interview magazine, Jennifer said, “Being in a relationship doesn’t define me. I can’t be looking for happiness in other people. I have to have happiness within myself.”

Jennifer said she’s “not looking for anybody” these days, and she’s fine with that.

“For people who are romantics and love being in relationships and want to grow old with somebody, we think, ‘I have to have that to be whole and happy,'” she said. “And you don’t.”

She said she asked herself, “What can I f****** do when it’s just me flying on my own … what if I’m just free?”

“You have to be complete, if you want something that’s more complete. You have to be good on your own,” Jennifer added. “I thought I learned that, but I didn’t. And then, this summer, I had to be like, ‘I need to go off and be on my own. I want to prove to myself that I can do that.'”

And while she says the journey can sometimes feel “lonely, unfamiliar, scary,” “sad” or even “desperate,” she realized she’s “capable of joy and happiness all by myself.” She also says she’s learned not to let the haters affect her too much.

“How can I pay attention to that when I have these beautiful kids and all this amazing stuff going on in my life? I can’t,” she said. “Even in hard times, I just go, ‘You know the truth.’ Head high. Like they said in Finding Nemo: Keep on swimming.”